Backup

I enjoy going to karaoke places because I enjoy seeing my friends and socialising. I enjoy the atmosphere, the games, the photos and the laughter but not forgetting singing.

I remember in 2012 when I first heard of the song by Sita Chan 後備 (Backup) I didn't think much but it was about a girl who is upset and feeling lonely because she is not the man's only woman. Many people discussed on forums this song was written based on the singer's real story about she fell in a love with a man. Regardless of the story, I always enjoyed her songs.

Especially that song, because I thought it really bought into the feelings not only would women but also men would feel if they feel they were they third person in a relationship. That's one of my favorite karaoke songs but having listened to it quite a lot of times and singing it randomly early this year, I find the lyrics more touching than it ever did.

The song was about a woman talking about how the man would go and find her in her messy house in the middle of the night really frequently. Being in the man's arm's she would feel the guilt, but at the same time not understanding why being in love seems like it is a crime similarly to facing death. She tried avoiding him yet she finds herself continually to find the man, it seems like she has lost herself emotionally to the man.

"let me be the one, one and only one" speaks for itself, despite knowing she cannot argue her way and how "sour" and upset she feels she still love him. "let me be the one, though you still have someone" is yet self explanatory. It seems like, she knows she is never the man's only one because he is already taken but at the same time since she is feeling this way and being so alone, why does she still need to pretend to be accepting this type of treatment?

The singer sings that he treats her like trash, if he doesn't want to care about her - he wouldn't need to. She mentions she feels like the cigarette that he takes - "take it as he please". Sad, disappointed and too afraid to shred a tear, he promised her it would be like a beautiful love song in the end, yet he announced to be with the other woman in church leaving her alone. The singer concludes the songs with the fact she rather the man just lies to her that she could be the one for him only.

What made my heart break the most in the song, was when she mentioned when she looked in the mirror and saying to herself  "Actually I am nothing special". Although she says she hates the man, she hates herself more.

It is a really beautiful song, full of emotions if you understand it. My translation isn't the greatest but perhaps readers, will get the gist of the idea. The music video to the song is here: http://youtu.be/Wm9KgQWVS3g

你習慣等到了　倦透的深宵
瞞著你伴侶偷偷再進入　我亂透家居
抱著你的身軀　還會心虛
當相戀彷似有罪　應該比死更空虛

我試過逃避你偏失控繼續想你
就似捉心理　定會輸給你　難有驚喜

Let me be the one, one and only one
沒太多計算　為你多辛酸　仍然死守的眷戀
Let me be the one, tho you still have someone
愛若那麼殘害自己心窩　為何要啞忍裝作大方

你對我如垃圾般　不愛理就不理
但我的底線　像你手香煙　隨你差遣

Let me be the one, one and only one
沒太多計算　為你多辛酸　仍然死守的眷戀
Let me be the one, tho you still have someone
愛若那麼殘害自己心窩　為何要啞忍裝作大方

傷心　失望　痛哭　不敢流露
承諾過若你的戀情曲終　給予我美好　wo~
即使甘願獻出給你作後補
為何你　在教堂中宣佈　將跟她到老

Let me be the one, one and only one
滴過幾次血　就算多心酸　仍然輸給這愛戀
Let me be the one, even just lie for once
對著鏡子呆望自己的講「原來我　根本不算什麼」
其實我　多麼討厭　自我

引用來源 http://www.littleoslo.com/lyc/home/%E9%99%B3%E5%83%96%E5%84%80-sita-%E5%BE%8C%E5%82%99-%E6%AD%8C%E8%A9%9E-mv

Equality

I begin to question, what is the norm in today's society when it comes to relationships. Summary:- Perhaps a century ago the norm is for men to have many women, women are more or less trophies, the more the better. Then some decades ago after legislation were put in force, tradition marriages ensures that each marriage has 1 man and 1 woman. Which was somehow pushed to this society for relationships.

But what is it today? that's because many people have relationships and someone else on the side, but that does not mean it is acceptable for people do follow suit. What about fairness? equality? I am scratching my head at the matter.

Why do some people believe it is acceptable to have someone else? what about their other half? what about the other person? can the word greed be used in this context? each relationships are different and there are many cases where it is difficult to decide on what is right or wrong but is it better for some to just stay together for the sake of staying together? Perhaps some people don't deserve to be loved wholly.

Men or women, deserve to have someone who loves them and someone who will make them their one and only, this is no fairy tale talk, but its a matter of fact. If people enjoy finding a third partner, they may be better of having no-strings-attached relationships or even open relationships. Why refer someone as their other half? what do you call the third person then?

Would the word insecurity come in place? do some worry their partners would have someone else so they do it themselves too? I was reading: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/12/cheating-study_n_4257115.html and someone got curious into the subject.

Some people do not understand the mental stress they give out, perhaps they do but refuse to make a move about it. Perhaps some should be fair, or even have the same experience being put back on them. Maybe they will understand the feeling.

Why is it that when men go and have flings or affairs, they are cheered on whereas women who do the exact thing gets called horrible names and are often frowned upon? Does living a double life really make one happy and secure?

My 23rd Birthday

My 23rd Birthday.

The annual event. Just like every one else's. As Chinese people have two birthdays (one for the lunar calendar and one for Western calendar) I remember there was always the special phone call I get first - the phone call from my grandma. I am able to not have my parents, the better half or friends saying the words to me but my birthday is not complete without hearing my grandma's phone call. 

It always fills my heart with warmth and love. 23 times this happened. No sorry, I get two phone calls, so it's actually 46 times (yes before I was 5 I was always with my grandma so she says it to me first too).

I began my birthday receiving my grandma's call right on the dot like normal, but before that I had my cousin saying those words to me, followed by the special someone, then parents, then the special sister then the 兄弟, then the friends.. Yes I know someone is missing in the sequence too.

I originally had plans to be in a different country but unfortunately it needs to be postponed to another time due to the hotel I wished to stay at was fully booked on the days I had chosen.

I saw friends and half of my university family, the other half couldn't make it but it was the messages that mattered. But on the day, I was spoilt the whole day by the better half who spent the whole day on me. Letting me choose the garments to wear and being around one of the busiest shops in London as well as having my favourite foods all in one day was amazing.

The dinner had been really special. Perfectly planned yet mysterious. It was my first time at the restaurant and I have to say, it didn't fail to disappoint a newbie such as myself, but what actually made it so "wow" would be the dessert. I somehow forgot the name of the dessert but it was chocolatey, crispy in it's own ways, the way the rock-like sugar melts on the tongue creating a little sound as I chewed every bite was delicious. It was special and I loved my birthday week, but the main day is what I loved the most.

The delicious dessert with my name written on. Along with a photo of myself and the better half.  Followed by a photo of myself, Ken and Jimmy, lastly the ice cream with the flavor of green tea and soy and vanilla.