When you wake up, although everything is the same and things and people are moving forward what you see is dullness. The feelings are empty. You have friends who whatsapp you or send you interesting things via Facebook or even twitter is being updated constantly all you feel is loneliness. You consult your friends and they try their best to be there but there is so much they can do, you tell your family and they are unsure on how to help, you tell you partner and all he could do is so little because he is working and too busy for himself to even be there.
There are times where you see your friends, you have laughs, joke around and even take photos all smiling and happy. You are with you family having a lovely dinner together and smiling. You are with your partner and holding hands. You have a lovely job/internship. In front of everyone you are the happiest individual, full of energy and having a positive outlook in life and looking to move forward.
You have a supportive family, friendly friends and someone who loves you. Yet you feel alone. You burst out in tears not knowing the purpose or reason. There is no reason. Why? This is depression.
You close your door and it's night time , you jump into bed and the cycle repeats itself. Tears, loneliness and feeling worthless. The things you used to enjoy doing or eating doesn't seem interesting but instead, it feels like a chore. Seeking help is the scariest but at the same time most worthwhile action to do. Sometimes talking to strangers may be easier but you would just keep it to yourself. You feel if you tell someone you are dragging them down and feel like a burden.
I've gone through that a few months ago and fortunately it has improved. Most people would have experienced this suddenly on an unexpected day - I was once diagnosed with clinical depression in November 2012 as it was difficult, and living away from home, close friend being in different countries was difficult. I am lucky as I could take a few train journeys and I was home and I had my best friend there for me. March 2014 it came back again and although it seems strange how someone as lively as myself would suffer from it. But we never know what each other is going through or battling through. There isn't a known case of depression down the family (as far as I am aware), depression isn't a topic discussed often in the family and I can understand why many choose not to tell one another.
It's August 2014 now and so far I am good. If there is a pattern I am expected this to come back again in 2016 but let's hope it doesn't. Talking things out is always good but sometimes it's difficult speaking to close people, I have looked online and discovered the Samaritans number, I am sure they are able to help listen to the issues:
08457909090 I personally haven't used them before however it is a starting point for those going through a downside.
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