Nothing

Sometimes I question about a woman's thoughts. Woman is often interpreted as the more needy counterpart and often the emotional one. I never understood that, perhaps I should seeing I am a woman after all. 

I'm extremely confused, something that is wrong feels so right. Feelings wonder, my brain wonders, my actions are questionable. Who is to blame? Nobody but myself.

I guess in this world, nobody knows myself as much as I do. But recently, I have come to learn that I don't know myself as well as I thought. I learnt that I am quite a "woman". I used to be really quick minded, a quick decision maker, get over things quickly. Now, I am struggling. I honestly need to wake up. 

Whenever there is a will, there is a method. Whenever there are hopes, things are due to happen. Or so they say. But for me, I honestly don't see hope as I should. For the first time, I got my hopes, not high but a little hope. I am left alone. I am not given 1 minute. Instead, I have tears and memories. There is no need to hold onto a dream that will not come true which is wanting that particular person to want you, the same way as you wanting them.

Do you believe in love at first sight? I don't, I never did. I never should. Why? It's a crush. It is ideal to forget the times they made you cry and the way they say your name, forget the moment of closeness, forget the beautiful voice, forget the beautiful face and just remember that you were nothing to them in the first place.