All-In

I used to be naive, or maybe I am still today. I did have thoughts and fantasy of what love could be. Before the heartbreaks or I thought they were heartbreaks.

What makes one person, "the person they are today"? I will answer it with "one's expectations, one's hopes, one's sacrifice and one's fall" oh, not forgetting the people that have entered, left or stayed in one's life.

I used to think, if you are dating or at least seeing each other, it's good to tell the world or at least your world that you are dating someone who you love and that they love you - for the person you are.
I used to believe that every year, my birthday, their birthday, Christmas, Valentine's Day, wedding's of friend's and all the other "important" occasions should be spent together, holding hands.

I grew up of course. These thought's may be every person's thoughts of relationship and love. Now perhaps the number of relationship breakdowns seen via the media and personal experiences gives me the fear of what could happen to myself. Can one person who used to get pushed away, told that they were "not good enough" be able to trust, love and put their life on another extra person? Would the stake be too high? too high for one to cope?

I believe it is time to learn, life is unfair but at the end of the day, how we choose to live our lives is down on the unpredictable events but if we are able to control what we can control ourselves, life can't be bad. At the end of the day, having a roof over our heads, having family and friends and actually being alive is something extremely fortunate. I have a number of special occasions coming up, my birthday, my graduation, my best friend's birthday, Christmas, New Year's Eve, New Year's Eve count down.. I want to hold hands, I want to be able to hold onto someone who will hold my hands tight then whispers "you will do fine because I am here beside you, mentally and physically".

One thing that is really sweet, being in the arms of someone who loves you, on the 23:59pm of 31st December kissing through to the New Year at 00:00am.

What is love to you?